Thursday, August 11, 2005

Is it me, or is this the most boring Klog ever???

Was that a resounding YES I heard? Not the thrills and chills of Stephaney Purled-WhateverComesAftertheHyphen? Okay, then, I'll kick it up a notch, since you are all thrill knitters and need to be titilated with spectacles of Extreme Knitting. (Shame on you). Okay. Have it your way, I shall henceforth pander to you! Especially now that I am spending so much time blogging. (To klog or not to klog, that's is the question). The website is scheduled to be up and running by the third week in September, so stay tuned for some useful pattern-type stuff. Meanwhile, to make this little spot more interesting, I have decided to discuss WIP's and the Harmonious Adventures of Being A Patternless Wonder. Oh, and the wonder doesn't mean wunderkid or anything of the braggadocious sort. It means you are too stupid and/or lazy to bother with learning to read patterns, so you hold it up every once in a while and wonder, "What the hell is that?" Or "WHY did I increase there?" Or, "OMG that decrease is practically day glow!" This involves a lot of coping skills and chocolate, so I don't recommend it to everybody. But, you know how it goes, whether you're using a pattern or NOT. Nothing bloody harmonious about it. Bloody, yes, nothing harmonious. It's like I always say, boys and girls, nothing will teach you profanity like knitting and marriage. Nothing.

Anyway, here's the current WIP, soon to be submitted to an online knitting resource near you. Of course I knit without patterns, always have. That being said, sometimes you have to make it a couple of times before it comes out right--not in form, necessiarly, but in function. Take this lovely bike seat cover for example. Great look, but the cotton does not wear well at all. In fact, it's total crap. The design only took me one try, although I tweaked it a bit on the bottom next go around, I found it didn't take much petaling before it started screaming for mercy. I very soon realized a felted cover would work MUCH much better--being a new bicylist, I had no way of knowing how much of a beatin' the front of the "saddle" takes. (I felt so goofy in the Petal Pusher in Midtown. I called it a seat, silly me!) With my rear end, I was more concerned about the weight load (HENCE me being on the bike in the first place). My poor son--his first memory will more than likely watching my fat butt going up and down like two pigs wrastlin' under a denim blanket, cause I'm sure it dominated the view from the baby seat. Never fear, we're saving for therapy; I digress. This is made using Rowan DK cotton, (which I like) and the cotton stretches out at the front of the saddle so much that it just looks tacky. You can tell its a bit gappy even in this picture, with it laying inert on the scanner. Also, the drawstring isn't necessary when you felt it. See post about the first and second knit models. I do so love the Squiggle; it looks like I put a couple of Boobahs in a pasta maker when they were good and ripe. That would explain why it entertains my son Aslan to no end. I think he thinks they're unraveled fruit loops or something...

Either way, it shure 'nuff makes yer bike stand out from all the others! I can just hear y'all sayin' to yerselfs richt now: "Whoo wee, sarge, I gotta knit me one of them!"

...and I'd like to take a moment to thank all the Boobah's who gave their life for this project, except for the surprisingly intelligent Zing Zing Zingbah, who kept smelling of the Kool-Aid and asking why it smelled like bitter almonds.


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